The Goonies II (1987 - NES, reviewed by Cramulas)

This game was released way back in 1987 for the NES, based off of the popular 80’s film “The Goonies”, and is a sequel to the NES release “The Goonies”. This reviewer’s first exposure to this game was through GOATSE Clan terrorist and Dictator Lord Helmet, aka Samdog. Many early morning hours were spent playing through this non-sensical adventure during the early years of life. You play as Mikey, a young chap that’s part of a teenage gang of hooligans. Your friends are kidnapped and it’s up to you to rescue them at whatever the cost. As with most games from the NES era, nothing makes sense what-so-ever. In a period of 2 seconds one can go from a volcano death land to a snowy iceland full of Eskimos and killer up-right walking bears. Buy hey, hitting Eskimos with hammers has never been more erotic.

Gameplay


This game plays non-linear, much in the style of Metroid. There are all sorts of areas, including: fire land, ice land, warehouses, underwater land, and giant bridge land where evil monsters eat your boomerang *oh noes!*. Throughout these lands, one will encounter demons, spiders, gangsters, and even a homosexual mouse known as “KonamiMan”. There are a variety of weapons and items at your disposal. One immediately finds a hammer at the beginning of the game. This item, among many, has a variety of uses. The hammer can break down walls, find secret items and even beat people up (old women included). I myself find a perverse pleasure in abusing KonamiMan with my giant hammer. Other items and weapons include: boomerangs, bombs, slingshots and super jumping boots. All have their advantages and disadvantages.

Again, this game makes no sense. Somehow spiders, demons and gangsters both work with each other against you, at the same time. Water injures you whenever it touches you, and there are random Eskimo’s sitting in rooms in the middle of no where that offer you no advice. If one looks beyond the stupidity of the situation then there is fun to be had. The environments are large, there is a lot to do and there’s no reason not to do it. I did find, at times, the game frustrating. For example, you need to find the ladder to get to another area of the game. You have no idea why you have to go there, but you have to. Problem is, the ladder could be anywhere. It could even be hidden in some invisible area that you could spend years trying to find. In other words, this game is not for the unlucky and impatient.

Graphics


Gorgeous for the NES are the graphics of The Goonies II. Lush vast environments, detailed monsters and effects. I often found myself believing I was actually in the game at times!!1. Well, not really. Waterfalls actually look like waterfalls, and the demons scare the crap out of you whenever you see them. It’s fairly obvious that this game pushes the NES’s 1mhz processor and video memory to its limits. I counted at least 16 different colors throughout the game, so there is definitely something to be said about the richness of each object, environment and story scene.

Sound


I cannot possibly say enough about the soundtrack to this game. The intro stage is accompanied by a remixed version of Cyndi Laupers “Good Enough”, the theme song to the Goonies Movie. I easily became engrossed by the lush 8-bit orchestral score for each area of the game. The sound effects are also top-notch. The Yo-Yo weapon, for example, has a realistic Yo-Yo sound. When one is near a waterfall, one can actually feel it as if they are by a waterfall in real life.

Presentation


No multiplayer, but there is some replayability. Excellent level design is accompanied by a magnificent score. Controls are top-notch, the game loads quickly and there are no frame-rate issues. No bugs to report either.

Closing Comments


And oldie but a goodie. This game hardens me in places unbecoming a human being. Recommended for fans of old school action adventure games, but stay away if you have no desire to deal with spiders and missing ladders.

5.5/7 Yannis:



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